Moving at my Own Pace
So remember when I did the march intentions post on my instagram, well I’ve decided the monthly intentions didn’t really work for me. The speed of which a month can fly by had me instantly thinking— wait now I need to plan for next month —before really giving myself the time and space to follow through with my march intentions. Which is literally the opposite of what I was setting out to do.
Being in the present moment slowing down, is something I have always struggled with and social media sure as fuck doesn’t help, it has a way of making us —or me at least — feel like I can never catch up. Catch up to what exactly, I don’t even know, but I know I am behind somehow.
My partner shared a video he found with me, talking about soft ambition, it was beautifully made and helped to put some things into perspective for me. In the opening of the video she says “There are two versions of me that exists at all times, the one that wants a soft slow life, and the one that is utter incapable of sitting still” And I have never related to anything more than that statement. Well except maybe the part where she said “Ive collected panic attacks like frequent flyers miles”
For years, I have made it a habit of burning the candle at both ends until my body couldn’t handle it anymore. Next thing I know i’ve burnt out, crashing, bed rotting for days — sometimes weeks and then getting pissed at myself for “wasting time” only to pick myself back up and do it all over again. Part of it was survival mode and part of it comes form that nagging feeling that I’m never doing enough or I’m not where I want to be in life yet, so I have to again work my ass off to get there. But clearly continuing in that pattern is not sustainable, nor do I want it to be. Listening to Ash talk about soft ambition helped me to understand I don’t need to do it all and definitely don’t need to get stuck in the perfectionism trap.
There is a huge difference between a routine that drains me and one that supports me.
Soft ambition doesn’t come from giving up on your ambitions but from slowing down and allowing yourself the time for moments of pausing, slow mornings, not diving into work, looking at screens the first thing when you wake up. And my personal favorite, no matter how urgent a work task feels, it will still be there when you get to it, and it probably wasn’t that urgent to begin with. Moving away from urgency, keeping up with the trends or keeping up with anyone else’s expectations really, and allowing myself to move at my own pace.
I quickly realized setting monthly intentions and the constant shift from one month to the next doesn’t really give me enough time to fully settle in and put my intentions into practice. Instead of this rushed approach, I am going to move into setting seasonal intentions. This feels more aligned with the natural rhythm of life and soft ambition — slower more intentional and rooted in the cycles of seasons vs the fast pace of month to month. I’ve come to understand that everything has its own cycle and it is more supportive for me to move with the of the natural world, giving myself the space to flow into what feels right rather than rushing through another month.
To integrate soft ambition into my own life here are some practices i’ve been doing :
Slow mornings: waking up and prioritizing a slow paced morning, eating a good breakfast and making sure i have time to cuddle and sunbathe with my cat.
Listening to my body’s natural rhythm : learning about my cycle and how my hormones affect my energy, creativity and productivity
Work boundaries : Setting firm work hours at the salon and at home work hours, not working on my computer or responding to client messages past 6. And absolutely no work on Sundays. But when I do work giving it my all.
Giving my self alone time to : write, draw, or work on my ceramics
Movement : gentle walks, yin yoga, and magnesium salt baths
Social : making sure I spend quality time with my friends and family but not forcing myself to make an appearance at every social gathering.